August: Detoxing from digital overload

1 hr of internet per day

Tensies is a ~monthly project in which we do 10 things in 10 days. And then we do it again. So, actually, it’s a project about projects, an exploration of the impact of creative constraints. But it all stems from my belief that we can manipulate our reality just enough to seek, find, or make our own meaning.

This month’s theme: slow
My Tensie: 10 days of digital detox

An August state of mind

As someone who wants and needs to stay aware of the news or the realities of the world, I’ve developed a routine. I open the New York Times. And I CMD click one or two of the terrible, meaningful headlines into new tabs. Then I scroll down to soothe with articles from the Arts, Cooking, or Opinion sections. I CMD click those too. If I’m lucky, there’s a new interesting Op-Doc. I’ll leave these tabs open and read them in the downtime of the day.

Another thing I do in the slow moments of the day is check all my inboxes from a few different projects and communities… email (2+), slack (3+), text, discord. But most often, I’m ashamed to admit, I turn to little rabbit holes of information that I consider “research” for work I’m doing or planning to do. This is why I have multiple windows of innumerable tabs.

All of this feels necessary and important, but that’s a farce. When I was working a 9 to 5, it felt like the only way to do things. I needed to understand new information. I needed to stay on top of things coming at me throughout the day. And I found joy in researching new approaches and projects. But, when I’m the boss, I can choose how I do things.

August seemed like the perfect time to do a ten day digital detox. I roll my eyes at the Americanness of this, but a digital detox was how I decided to channel the European August-is-rest attitude. I would free myself of any expectation to do things. But honestly, this was about confronting an information addiction and looking it straight in the eye. Consuming information is very very satisfying. And I can pretend it’s productive. But, my love, it is lazy.

I knew I needed guardrails. But I also knew I did not want to strongarm myself into submission. (August!). And, cold turkey is a whole other level. So, like always, I had to find the balance.

Finding the balance

I’m self-aware. I know my downfall. It’s the browsers. Instagram I can delete, and I find it kinda boring. So I focused on the problem. And the browsers are a big problem. I spent more screen time than I want to admit in the Screen Time options and settings. (Screen Time, Focus, all of these “helpful” phone setting are SO detailed, when really Apple could simply permit me to delete Safari…but they don’t.) When I nearly asked my partner to create a “parent” password so I could actually lock myself out, I realized things had gone too far. And I decided to just fucking buckle down.

I make The Rules:

I sketched up my rules.

• I’ll keep my laptop and my phone in a static location, at my desk.

• Of course, I will work (I live in America after all). I’ll still attend any meetings or workshops I had planned. I’ll still be able to work in Google Docs, Figma, or Notion on my documents or plans. I just won’t hang out at my computer looking for the next thing to do.

• I get one hour a day online (2pm) to check my email and do all the things. I keep of list of things I want/should do in that hour. I add to the list throughout the day, as things occur to me.

• I’ll give myself grace for the things that aren’t problematic for me. I’ll probably check my email or watch a show in the evening, but I’m not going to worry too much, I’m just going to be aware.

• I will screenshot my phone’s screen time at the end of the day, for some random sense of accountability. I could probably be more methodical about tracking, but again, August.

The results

I am grateful to remember a time when the real world was all there was. I invoke those days when this Tensie felt hard. I was young, but in those days, reading a book, calling a friend, listening to an album, rearranging furniture, writing in my journal were things I would turn to and delight in. I turned to those things now, and it felt like a vacation.

Even these rushed, fluid, personal guidelines have given me so much more brain space and feeling of luxurious time after ten days of (mostly) following them.

• Mornings felt spacious. Things like breakfast and coffee and reading/writing hour got my full attention. I was not pulled to other things. I didn’t go to sit at my desk/computer until I was ready.

• My work had to be real, concrete, pen and paper kind of work. And if I wanted to procrastinate on those things, I read a book. Funnily enough, if I had a meeting, it felt like a little digital treat, a time to check in with other people.

• Often, I didn’t check email until 2pm, and I didn’t read anything from others, and so the only voices I heard were my own. Even if I had a phone call, it was different than checking email or reading online. It was conversational. I believe this created a huge amount of mental spaciousness.

• I finally got myself to check out the classes at the Y. And, I felt less crunched for time when I I was there.

• I made a cake for my neighbor. I learned I was missing some baking staples in the pantry and felt sad that I’d been out of the kitchen (for fun) for so long.

• I took a risograph class.

• I avoided all busy work. Only essential (or fun) work.

• I found some fun in listening to music and cleaning the house? I got more stuff done on the homefront.

• I hosted a Spaghetti dinner. (Classic Marinara recipe)

• I read 2+ books: Things Fall Apart and a summery indigenous rom-com (omg, fiction!)

• I had more energy for people on the weekend. I went to a demonstration (there was singing and dancing, it was vital!).

Play by play

At first, the routine felt awkward and I was hyper-fixated on the rules. I felt like I was figuring out the challenges and efficacy of my guardrails. I deleted some apps that were not a huge problem, just out of spite. I got really excited about closing tabs and windows and shutting things down. I even shocked myself by being able to restart my computer.

I kept evaluating if I was doing it right. Mostly, I tried to just follow the spirit of the exercise without being too rigid about it. Luckily, that endless self-evaluation passed after a few days, and I could ease up. Yes, I did get sloppy with the rules, but I also didn’t let myself feel bad about it. I just made a mental note and reminded myself to return.

Pretty quickly, I did feel a lot of distance from the small, inconsequential things on my to do list. Those things, like paying bills or scheduling the vet or updating my insurance, or sending a reminder email, got relegated to one concentrated hour of my day. They became minutia. I felt much more connected to the big aspirations or milestones on my to do list. Like protyping a new offer. Those things often require buckling down and getting over myself much more than they require internet admin. They’re not exactly easy. Things still get stuck.

The human element remained a challenge, as always. Melding different communication and digital styles (async or sync?) is difficult. Plus, I neglected my digital communities entirely in this detox. Sometimes I feel I should focus on IRL communities only. But that’s not realistic. Even the IRL ones communicate online. I simply find it very hard to keep up, let alone be a good and generous member of multiple professional and personal digital communities. But the fact that I had more energy for other people IRL and for civic engagement points me in a good direction.

And so..

Overall, I’m surprised by the amount of time and space this opened up, even as I know how magnetic these devices are. For me, it’s easy to blame the devices themselves. But, my human frailty is an easy target. My heart wants to be productive, my brain wants the excitement of new things, and my soul wants to feel connected to the world. These are mighty forces that can keep me seeking balms the internet promises to provide.

This month, I tried to relax all of these forces at once, and a real spaciousness entered my days that offered ease, action, and play. It might only work in August, when people expect slow responses, but at least I have seen myself more clearly. I can remember it’s possible to fill my heart, brain and soul in ways that don’t overwhelm, advertise, or result in a numbing digital haze.

…

Are these things you are doing regularly? What rules work for you? What keeps your feet grounded in IRL? Where’s the balance? Are we all alone in this?